Are Jake and Brett "in love"?


     For this blog post, I want to explore the concept of love and whether Brett and Jake love each other. Although dictionary.com describes love as “a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person”, I disagree slightly. In my opinion, love is a relationship where both parties have an affection for each other and choose to cultivate their relationship. There is a difference between liking someone and loving someone, and for me, love is distinguished by the two (or more) parties actively taking the time to listen to each other and adapting. Obviously, people don’t have to change themselves completely, and a partner asking for that can actually be a pretty big red flag. However, disagreements pop up since no relationship is ever perfect, and the couple should be willing to work through that and set clear expectations for each other. That way, both parties are benefiting from the relationship.

    I’m not naïve enough to believe that this is what always happens. There are definitely times when not every party is benefiting equally, and those relationships can still work as long as everyone feels that their opinions and beliefs are heard. However, I feel like Brett and Jake’s “love” is too extreme; I would go so far as to say that their relationship is toxic. Brett knows that Jake is obsessed with her, so she uses that to her advantage. Instead of making it clear that she’s not interested in him, she leads him on and then asks for favors. For example, when she wanted to be introduced to Romero, she led Jake on by asking "Do you still love me, Jake?" (186) to then make him feel obligated to help her. While Jake keeps giving and giving to their relationship, Brett takes advantage of it and doesn’t give anything back. To me, this seems like emotional manipulation and only one-sided love; Jake is willing to work on a relationship, but Brett is not. Although some people in class seem to believe that there was love on both sides, I only see love from Jake’s side; Brett just sees an emotionally weak guy who is undeniably attached to her that can be used to get what she wants; she views him as an object.

    Overall, the main reason I think Brett ad Jake’s relationship isn’t love is that Jake often leaves his interactions with Brett feeling worse than he did before. He also breaks down crying when thinking about Brett at home alone (one of the few things that make him cry). A person in love does not want to hurt their loved one yet Brett knows how she makes Jake feel and offers him no conclusion. While it is Jake’s responsibility to watch his own mental health and know what’s good for him, Brett could have very easily made Jake’s life a little easier by telling him that she isn’t interested (directly not by leading him on and then denying him). By not telling him, she hurts him over and over and over again. Additionally, she hurts him even more by not letting him enjoy his hobbies. There are very few times where we get to see Jake more or less "enjoying" himself, and each time he gets interrupted. For example, Brett pulled Jake out of San Sebastian to deal with her love issues. She uses him as a safety cushion, not wondering whether Jake has better things to do. She only cares about her needs while a loving couple should care about the needs of both parties. Therefore, I think that their relationship is not built off of love; it is built off of the emotional vulnerability of a war veteran and the desires of a woman to have an important role in society.

What is your definition of love? What do you guys think about Brett and Jake’s relationship?

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